One of the members of the Unitarian Universalist Hysterical Society Facebook group challenged the others to share or come up with a UU joke that was not about coffee and/or committees.
Here are some of the results
“All dressed up and no place to go” is the usual joke I hear about UU funerals, from members of other faith communities.
Unitarian Universalism is where you go to get your answers questioned.
Not a joke per se, but something I've noticed: at the points where in other churches I'd expect to hear a loud "AMEN!", at UU churches I hear a "Hmm..."
UUs recognize that humor is not necessarily universal, and we honor and respect all paths to mirth
When a UU comes to a fork in the road with a sign pointing to the right saying "To God" and a sign pointing left saying "To Discussion of God", the UU will go to the discussion.
What is a Unitarian Universalist? Someone who faces all questions with an open mouth.
UUs are notoriously poor singers, because they're always reading two lines ahead, to make sure they agree with the words.
I keep saying that UUs should market to those seeking spirituality without religion, the fastest growing demographic, as no one can accuse UUs of being an organized religion! UUs - disorganizing religion since 1568!
What did the coffee say about its UU visit? "I got mugged"
My late husband said before we pulled up to the local UU church to expect volvos in the parking lot along with practical high MPG cars. Three volvos in the lot in a small congregation. [a response: years and years ago I heard on NPR that Subarus were especially popular with Unitarians, very practical and not flashy. Works in our Fellowship!]
Three recently-dead people are at the Pearly Gates. The angel asks the first, "What was your faith?" He says, Catholic. And did you go to confession? Oh, yes, every week. Ok, go on in. The second is Jewish. "Did you make a pilgrimage to the Wailing Wall?" "Yes I did, just last year at last!" "Ok, enter." The last declares that they are Unitarian. The angel asks, "And did you bring a hot dish to share?"
How many UUs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It Takes 300:
12 to sit on the board which appoints the nominating and personnel committee.
5 to sit on the the nominating and personnel committee which appoints the House committee.
8 to sit on the house committee which appoints the light bulb changing committee.
4 to sit on the light bulb-changing committee which chooses who will screw in the light bulb.
3 of those 4 then give their own opinion of “screwing in methods” while the one actually does the installation.
After completion it takes 100 individuals to complain about the method of installation, another 177 to debate the ecological impact of using the light bulb at all,
and at least one to insist that back in her day the lit chalice was quite enough.
What two things do UUs and Dracula have in common? They both have origins in Translyvania and they both shy away from the cross.
Q: How many Unitarians Universalists does it take to change a light bulb? A: We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is wonderful. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb. Present it next month at our annual Light Bulb Sunday Service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
UU missionaries go around knocking on people’s doors for no particular reason.
A woman went into a fabric shop, found a pattern for a peignoir, and some diaphanous fabric she liked and went to the cutting table. The cutter asked her how many yards of the chiffon she wanted and she said, "Seven, no, better make it nine." The cutter said, "But you don't need that much for this pattern." and the woman replied, "My husband is a Unitarian -- he likes to seek but not find."
You May Be A Unitarian Universalist If…
belly-dancing has ever been part of a Sunday service.
on Hallowe'en you explain to everyone the Pagan significance of their costumes.
you get mail from committees you didn't know you were on.
you know at least two people who are upset that trees had to die for your church to be built.
you consider Millard Fillmore one of the greatest U.S. Presidents. (He was Unitarian).
you are unsure about the gender of God.
you think the Holy Trinity is "reduce, reuse and recycle."
[and one added in comments: you hear OWL and don't immediately think of the bird]
To join the Unitarian Universalist Hysterical Society Facebook group, click here.