Unitarian Universalist Hysterical Society
Inherent mirth and dignity


Statements of Theology

Ahem. I would not presume to make any generalized statements regarding the theological perspective of UUHS as a whole. In cases where we do not apply democracy, we apply cacophony. In the spirit of the latter…. a sampling of UUHS responses to The Deep Theological Question of the Month:

How Many UUs Does it take to Screw in a Lightbulb?

I question both the existence of lightbulbs and the possibility of determining an answer.  -Kristin M Sells

The minimum number is two, but they either have to be very small, or the light bulb has to be very big.  Either way, it sounds uncomfortable.  -Herb Tyson

I don’t know.  That’s the purview of the Building and Grounds Committee.  I’ll email them, and get back to you after 23 reply alls.  -Liz James

None.  You can’t change the light bulb unless it wants to change.  -Jocelyn M. Ellis

UUHS: A hell of a lot of jokes... thankfully, without the hell.
— Virginia Slothour-Hudnal

Seven.  Six to form an exploratory committee and submit a proposal to the Board, and one to get sick of the light being burned out and change it when nobody is looking.  -Thomas A Earthman

Depends on the congregation.  -Desmond Ravenstone

You never change it, if you respect the worth and dignity of the dead bulb.  -Paul Lawson

One to insert the bulb, three to plan the potluck supper to celebrate the new light, and one more to recycle the spent bulb.  -Barbara Connor Despres  (Addition:  Plus the members of the committee to nominate people for those positions - Jamey Montgomery).

Wait—when did we decide on only ONE lightbulb?  And when did we agree that light bulbs would be our light source of choice?  -Liz James

UUs?  Or Unitarians?  Because if it’s only Unitarians, it’s only ONE.  Definitely NOT three.  And if it’s Universalists, it’s every single last one.  -Karen Gail

Find the person who eats the most kale.  They can just hold up the lightbulb while the entire world revolves around them.  -Oliver St John

We draw illumination from many sources.  We need not change the source to embrace whatever truth it might offer.  -Herb Tyson

This question is fully answered in the gray book “Lighting the Living Tradition”, and in the supplementary teal book “Lighting the Journey”, though there are plans for a new, more inclusive book (colour yet to be determined) which will discuss ever evolving thoughts on light bulbs, tubes, panels, and strips (among others) which our congregations will need to review and implement if they wish to maintain their status as a Lighting congregation.  -Will Dunklin Editor’s note:  The colour is not to be determined, it will be a variation on blue.  Although Will insists that it depends on the lighting.

We accept the lightbulb wherever it is in it’s journey, and being screwed in isn’t a requirement to being loved here!  -Katie Frooman

As we look to the future of church attendance, we ask the question:  In what ways do we encourage Millenials’ participation in the Lightbulb Ministry? -Jef Gamblee

Curse you, darkness! —Everett Howe

I had to light a candle to see who was cursing the darkness.  -Herb Tyson.

Working in the dark for now.  -Jessica Purple Rodella

First, there must be a vote to decide what kind of light bulbs are to be used.  Do we use the old incandescent bulbs which someone carefully hoarded from years past, or do we use a modern type of bulb which costs a lot more up front, but saves energy and expense for years?  We must form a committee, develop a Plan of Action, bring it to the congregation for a vote, and adjust the line item in the budget as necessary. -Barbara Zimmer

I believe Mike changed it, while we were discussing. -Liz James